around 2001, i released a site called “how to dress emo.” the site had relatively simple instructions on how to fit the role in what i assumed would be a passing trend. boy, was i wrong-the emo explosion is still in full force now, years later, and the fashion just keeps getting sillier and sillier. not only that, you can now instantly tell what music someone listens to by their clothing and vice versa.

someone recently wrote me and complained that my old “how to dress emo” site was incorrect because “that is how normal people dress.” for the most part, they are right. the term “emo” has become a thing of the past, now replaced by its the new term, “scene.” gone are the days of thick-rimmed glasses, sweaters, and jeans that actually fit. everything is completely androgynous in the myspace age; boys are playing dress up with mommy’s makeup; girls are attempting to look more and more like glam rock monsters.

Now I have something to point to whenever some uppity 16-year-old gets in my face about how I don’t know what “emo” is. Whatever, kid, neither of us know what emo is either (proof) but my emo’s better than your emo!

And then I remember that in the real world, no 16-year-old gives two shits about what I think because I’m OLD. Whatever. Get off my lawn, you little whippersnappers, or I’ll beat you with my cane!

In the second video the owner explains how the whole contraption works. He’s even mounted the license plate (though I imagine he’d have a hard time convincing the cops it’s road-legal), which is where we learn that the Redneck Rollercoaster is a made-in-Ontario innovation. The car, converted in 2000, has starred in internet videos for a while, but it’s apparently the recent YouTube videos that’s garnered the attention of a Country Music Television film crew. Check out the guy’s new bling!

First, a devastating critique of a premium chocolatier’s product and practices from Dallasfood.org. In addition to being a highly entertaining smackdown on what sounds like a couple of fly-by-night operators, it’s also a great read about some of the inner workings of the premium chocolate business.

Second, Ars Technica takes a look at telecommunications regulations coming back to bite AT&T in the ass. In examining the legal battle between AT&T and a couple of Chicago-area suburban towns over the rollout of IPTV and a new fiber/copper data network, Nate Anderson touches on the blurring of the lines between digital cable providers and digital voice/data providers. The article is also a good look at the ongoing conflict between fair-dealing regulations and big business.

CALLER: Do you recognize that there’s a difference between one dollar and one cent?
VERIZON CSR: Definitely.
CALLER: Do you recognize that there’s a difference between half a dollar and half a cent?
VERIZON CSR: Definitely.
CALLER: Then, do you therefore recognize that there’s a difference between 0.002 dollars and 0.002 cents?
VERIZON CSR: No.

Officially the greatest customer service cock-up ever. Here’s an MP3 of the whole call.

She’s got tons of videos, and they all appear to be the same: Beth Agnew filming herself and laughing for no apparent reason. Y’all should just be glad I haven’t been subjecting you to the other random crap I’ve found lately.

Except for Calvin. Sorry Calvin.